Sunday, February 23, 2014

My One Word for 2014

My Word for this year is Confidence! I've thought about all that I've been through and the things I've done in the past. Than I think about all the dreams I had and I looked on with a large smile on my face and spitting these exact words: "This is what I want to do, I'm going to do it no matter what anyone has to say about it!" Next thing I know I'm back at square one, haven't moved from that same little square I was so determined to finally step off of. I was so ready to prove everyone else wrong but ended up doing the opposite. It's an understatement about me making a fool of myself, but no one said "I told you so!" And I'm really glad that type of embarrassment didn't show he's ugly head.

So I realized my problem and I'm willing to change and challenge myself in this new year. I'm a bit late at doing this but I don't think it matters when you start. What matters is that you are trying to do something better for you. That's why I'm doing the One Word a Year attempt. My word is Confidence, this word came to me as I was following the directions by Dave Britton. But I got the idea from another blogger from Everything Happens for a Reason. Her post inspired me to try it out, and to know that we all will fall, it takes someone strong to get back up and push back.

This year is the year that my words will not be spoken, but my actions and accomplishments with tell it all. I want my family to see my goals being reached even if they don't know anything about them. Hearing my mom say, "I didn't even know you wanted to do that... " and her seeing how far I have come and will go to reach higher heights within myself. That's what I want!

Loving me, a bit more is something I've been trying to do for a while now, and I'm getting there, you know, one step at a time. I don't have very low self-esteem, but every women goes through the "I'm not pretty like her!" type moods. It's just sometimes I need to do more of appreciating me and rewarding myself for holding on for almost 23 years. To some I might seem old, but to be honest I think of myself still a child that needs to grow up and get her shit together... (Excuse my French) I'm really tired of feeling as though I'm being left behind as my friends buy their own cars and homes, but I'm not there yet. Don't get me wrong I congratulate them whole heartily and I'd give them a bear hug if they actually took the time out to come and see me. I want to have all those things to, and show them that I'm doing well. <--- (I need to look more into my heart on this one...)

My lack of Confidence in myself and in my dreams was what's been keeping in the dumps and always emotional (partially).

My goal for this year is to gain this ability back and get what needs to be done, taken care of so I can move on to the next step in my life.

On my part there will be no more procrastination, selfishness, and distractions that will keep me from reaching my goals. I will keep my A and B average in the college I'm in now, and I will get better at writing and turning in work on time for my job. There are a number of other things I want to do and I will! It's about time LadyBug took control of her life.